


Street Smarts!

by ashleybenlove



Series: Ashley's Bad Things Happen Bingo Fics [3]
Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Dragons: Race to the Edge, Gen, John Mulaney References, John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, Kidnapping, Pepper Spray, Swearing, The other Dragon Riders make appearances as well, Whump, car trunk, locked in a trunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26724109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove
Summary: Hiccup felt thankful he had watched that comedy special with John Mulaney.
Series: Ashley's Bad Things Happen Bingo Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889989
Comments: 11
Kudos: 17
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Street Smarts!

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Night of Surprises](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608138) by [evilwriter37](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilwriter37/pseuds/evilwriter37). 



> Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo for the space “Locked In A Trunk”. 
> 
> Also, I did make this [post](https://ashleybenlove.tumblr.com/post/165368607311/a-mental-image-i-got-today-literally-while) once, and kinda kickstarted me writing this when I remembered I had made it.
> 
> Yes, there are direct references to John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, including the title. 
> 
> Thanks to the folks at Great Hall of Whump discord (Vin, Lilly, jayalaw) for suggesting a dark blue color for the car.
> 
> Also, I'm including a reference to evilwriter37's “A Night of Surprises” as an influence (technically he was inspired by me because I was talking about this fic as a WIP, but he finished his sooner, so it's kinda a chicken or egg kinda deal?) 
> 
> This story is a modern AU, focused within Race to the Edge.

Ryker brought Hiccup to a stop in front of the open trunk of a dark blue sedan.

“You know, I wouldn’t have pegged you for a sedan kind of guy,” Hiccup said. “You seem more like the kind of guy who has a huge truck.”

“Shut up,” Ryker growled.

“ _Do_ you have a huge truck?” Hiccup said, attempting to needle him.

“Shut up!” Ryker exclaimed.

He stuffed a big piece of fabric into Hiccup’s mouth, and then pushed him roughly into the sedan’s trunk.

Hiccup didn’t have much choice of how he landed, given that his arms were behind his back, but he was able to unfortunately watch as the lid closed and he no longer saw the light of day.

Fuck.

Maybe he should have brought Astrid with him when he went grocery shopping for the gang. Ryker running into him in the snack aisle of all places lead him to being abducted from a fucking grocery store in fucking broad daylight. He hoped the grocery store had good security cameras. Or that someone saw this happen.

He spit out the fabric from his mouth.

It’s not like Ryker tied it around his mouth.

“What was the thing Mulaney said?” Hiccup muttered to himself, referring to comedian John Mulaney by his surname for some reason. Hiccup said to himself, “Street Smarts!”

Hiccup wracked his brain, trying to remember the set in particular.

“Something about punching out the taillight?” Hiccup said to himself. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

He kicked out his legs, seeing if they would land on the walls of the trunk.

His prosthetic hit the side, which, wasn’t really where the tail light was, but at least he could do it.

Okay, hmm.

He pulled his legs closer to his body, so he was essentially in the fetal position.

The trunk, while a confined space, was large enough that he could move his body around, though he still had to deal with his arms being tied behind his back.

He was about to readjust his body so he could kick in the general direction of the tail lights, when his phone rang.

Ah! That’s great! He still had his phone with him! Of course, he couldn’t quite get to it because it was in his pocket, but his phone was with him!

It was in his back pocket, so he figured, yeah, he was going to butt answer. He adjusted himself again, moving his butt briefly off the floor and then back down onto the phone. The phone stopped ringing but Hiccup took that as if he answered, “Whoever is calling me, I’m in Ryker Grimborn’s sedan, it’s a dark blue Volkswagen Jetta, late model. He kidnapped me.”

He tried listening as carefully as he could, to see if the person on the other side of the phone was responding to him or not. The Jetta did not have a particularly loud engine (it was actually quite quiet), but the car was in motion after all. And the phone was not at his ear, and it was not in his hand, and it was really a toss-up if he answered the phone or if he rejected the call. He had to hope that perhaps he did answer.

And that if the Riders suspected something was off, even if he hadn’t answered, they would use the GPS tracker on his phone. Astrid and Fishlegs had been fairly adamant (and annoying, as Snotlout had said) about them having that on their phones.

So, he decided to adjust his body to kick at the tail lights again, hoping to perhaps kick them open, and maybe get the attention of nearby motorists. Broken tail lights are a cause for concern.

He focused his attention on the left side of the trunk (which, technically from another perspective was the right side) and started to harshly kick at the trunk sides, as hard as he could, using his prosthetic, hoping that since it was metal, it would do the most damage.

He heard the rip of carpet, and that was satisfying.

After a brief pause, he kicked harshly again, grunting as he did so.

A couple of more kicks. And then he heard the break of the tail light. Good. A glance at that part of the trunk, and he could see a bit of daylight trying to make its way through.

Success!

Hiccup felt thankful he had watched that comedy special with John Mulaney.

Of course, he was still locked in the trunk though.

Sometime later, Hiccup was not sure how much time had passed since he had been kidnapped, but the only time the car had stopped had been for brief moments that Hiccup had assumed were for traffic lights. But this time, the car stopped and he heard the sounds of dragons outside of the car.

He yelled out, “Hey!” hoping that he could be heard, while also hitting the sides of the trunk with his prosthetic.

A few moments later, the trunk opened.

Ah, there they were.

His Dragon Riders.

He couldn’t see Astrid, but he could hear the sounds of someone punching flesh, and Ryker groaning, so he assumed she was nearby. But he could see the rest of them.

“Gang!” Hiccup exclaimed, happily.

“Fishlegs, get him out,” Snotlout said. “I gotta help Astrid.”

And he disappeared from view.

Fishlegs had begun to reach in when Hiccup heard another sound of punching flesh.

Hiccup, remembering that his legs weren’t tied, moved around in the now open trunk into a position where he was on his knees, facing a side of the trunk so that Fishlegs could untie his arms with ease.

Once his arms were untied, Hiccup carefully started climbing out of the trunk, with the help from Fishlegs and the twins. It felt nice to hold their hands.

Hiccup was about to ask a question when he heard Astrid say: “Snotlout, go back to Hiccup.”

A pause. “Oh, shit,” Snotlout said.

Snotlout returned to Hiccup’s view, and a moment later he heard Ryker yell out in obvious pain.

“Pepper spray,” Snotlout explained.

“I’m going to have to buy you some,” Astrid said, coming into view, holding the pepper spray visibly.

“Fair enough. So, did you guys use the GPS tracker app?” Hiccup asked. “Also, I got a call, and I have no idea if I answered or not.”

“The call was why we used the GPS tracker app,” Ruffnut said. “I called you. You answered.”

“So, butt answering works,” Hiccup replied.

“LOL,” Ruffnut said, spelling the letters out while Tuffnut chuckled.

“Is Toothless still at home?” Hiccup asked.

“Yes,” Astrid replied. “You ready to go home?”

“Absolutely,” Hiccup responded.


End file.
